You Can Be Gorgeous
by Marcus Antebi
Article at a Glance:
We all know we grow up in a society that seems to believe in the idea of the “survival of the fittest” based on Darwinistic thinking. But the idea goes much further back. It was prevalent in ancient Greece and in cultures that were ruled by kings and queens. Many in societies throughout history seemed to value traits that matter only a little if at all.
If you were a peacock and you were looking at another one of the opposite sex, the plume of their feathers would determine whether or not you were willing to mate. And each species of creatures has something similar to that which attracts them to the opposite sex.
Only human beings have the ability to think and reason in a way that enables them to rise above their animal nature and follow their intellect. The intellect is the domain of spirituality. It is the domain of self-reflection. It is within the intellect that we consider our choices and we can decide whether or not we live indoors or live outside. We can decide whether or not we eat our food cooked or raw. We can decide whether or not we live peacefully next to our neighbors or whether or not we go to war. But sometimes we use the same intellect to fixate on details that don’t matter.
You are absolutely exquisite the way that you are and in your design. If you want to look like something else, it’s only because you programmed yourself to think like that for a very long period of your life. And other influences amplified that programming. We have had plenty of advertising and marketing messages that say we have to look better and different than what we are in order to be loved and in order to be special.
That is absolute nonsense.
Meditate today on how exquisite you are in your physical body. Fight the temptation to drag yourself in front of the mirror and be critical at every curve or angle of your body. Stop looking at your face and wishing for something different. Something different will not appear, so doing that is a waste.
You have a limited amount of time to be on this earth to contemplate things. So time is of the essence. If you struggle with what you look like then you must make a behavior change. You can do so by standing in front of the mirror every day, say “I love you,” and pick five things that are beautiful about yourself that you would never give away.
Stop looking at other people and judging them as ugly or beautiful. It’s unnecessary to do so. Perhaps it’s necessary for a brief moment when you’re picking a mate. But once you have that mate who arouses our animal instinct triggers, then work to put those aside and fall in love with the heart of your soulmate. Don’t look at their weaknesses and flaws unless they’re hurtful to you when you look in their eyes.
Look into peoples’ consciousness and empathize with their struggles. Fall in love with yourself and you will easily be able to fall in love with others. If you struggle to fall in love with yourself, then change that situation. Love others and allow others to love you in order for you to find your own self-love.
Develop an awareness of where your self-love went to. Perhaps you weren’t given appropriate love as a child. Understand that the mission of your life is to rebuild what was broken. You cannot build self-love by climbing on top of material objects. There are not enough diamonds, cars, beautiful homes, or luxury goods in the world to produce an iota of self-love.
In fact it’s worse when you have all those things and still feel empty. A lack of self-love can turn into self-loathing. We end up having a tremendous amount of desperation and anxiety when nothing will make us feel good about ourselves. It’s better to only have rags to cover our bodies and love ourselves and others than to be the richest human beings in the world and still be sad and lonely. Perhaps this is a cliché, but it’s true.
To love yourself is a lifelong practice. It requires vigilance every single day. The most important things you accomplish each day are not in laundry lists, shopping lists, or lists of job-related tasks. All these things are important in some way but they pale in comparison to the importance of being kind to yourself. All who are thinkers struggle with self-help, with healing, with loving ourselves, with keeping our self-esteem intact, with being kind to others, and with finding kindness in others.
The struggle ends the moment you face a mirror and you say something akin to the following: “I love you and I am grateful. Whatever I am, whatever curves my body has, whatever angles my nose falls at, the size of my pimples, the size of my feet, my height, the shape of my ass, I’m alive in my consciousness.”
What a miracle! What a blessing! When I say that, I’m not turning this into something religious and saying it’s a miracle from God. It might be, but wherever it came from, holy shit – how did it happen? And how can we waste time not living in the grace of this beautiful world that we are fortunate enough to have time to live in?
Get out there and do something different today. Try to find some things that you sometimes hate, look at them, and say, “I might love that thing.” In your mind, try to think of someone who has wronged you. Sit for 10 minutes and find a way to give them blessings, give them praise, and hope that they do well in life.
Take the concentration away from the things that you are not or were not. Then put your concentration and focus on the things that you are and be the best that you can be.